


Shiver

by Minatu



Category: One Piece
Genre: F/M, I wrote this for me but y'all can read it if you want, I've legit been writing it for years just for me, Not Beta Read, Self-Esteem Issues, Suicide Attempt, and it's still not done lmao, polished chapters get published, updates when it updates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:48:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22904977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minatu/pseuds/Minatu
Summary: Naiya was rescued from snow by the Heart Pirates, but all she can remember of her life is that she was trying to die. Now she’s just trying to figure out why. What she isn’t anticipating, is to fall in love with her savior.
Relationships: Trafalgar D. Water Law/OC
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _ Run, whirlwind run _ _   
>  _ _ Further and further away _ _   
>  _ __ Into the sun
> 
> \- "Girls Like You" by The Naked and Famous

Naiya sat in a ski lift by herself. No one else had seen her get on it. There was no one around to stop her, which was a mild relief. She peeked at the dark purple and black mark that was hidden by the glove on her hand. 

A _reminder_. She couldn't keep doing this. She couldn't keep living. Naiya tucked her black curls back in place underneath the headband of her ear muffs. She was done. She was done existing. There was only regret in her short life, and she didn't want to keep adding to it. 

As the ski lifted her higher and higher, Naiya re-enforced her resolve. She had to. She was _scared_ . So, so scared. Every part of her wanted to live, but Naiya didn't know if she could deal with the consequences that would surely follow that decision. The things she would have to _see_ and _do_. The orders that she knew that she would inevitably have to follow. She couldn't see any other way, and she was desperate. Naiya wanted the pain, the guilt, the pressure to stop. She felt like her lungs were collapsing inside of her rib cage when she thought about it. 

The world would keep spinning if she was no longer in it. It was going to be alright if she gave up. She would be free. The pain would stop. Naiya told herself all of these things like bittersweet promises. She wished there was another choice, a light at the end of this tunnel, but there was nothing.

Carefully, she pushed the safety bar up off of her when it seemed like she was high enough. Hopefully this time she would succeed. Hopefully this time she wouldn't reopen her eyes in her own personal hell. Swallowing tightly, Naiya stared at the snow below her boots. There were tears in her eyes, but she couldn't let this chance slip by just because she was a little scared of how far of a fall it was going to be. How much it might hurt. She closed her pale, brown eyes and pushed herself off the lift.

Cold air whooshed around her long enough to startle and exhilarate her before she smashed into the snow. Now everything ached and screamed, her nerves alive with the pain, and Naiya was disappointed she didn't die. The tears she'd been holding back where now pooling and dripping down her already freezing cold face. Burning a trail down her wind burned cheeks. She couldn't do anything right. She'd have to wait for the cold weather to finish the job because she couldn't get herself to move a single aching muscle. 

She laid there in the snow for hours, struggling to remain conscious. The den-den mushi in her pocket rang endlessly as the snow fell, reminding her that she was still alive. Eventually she couldn't see a thing, but the snail wouldn't shut up. It rang in her head, over and over again, like a beacon. A reminder. She wished she was able to move a limb so she could throw it away from her. Naiya wished she had the foresight to get rid of it before she stupidly failed to end her own life. 

It was so cold. So cold. A reminder that she was still alive. A reminder that she failed. A reminder she wanted to forget.

* * *

Naiya opened her eyes slowly, cringing against the blinding light of the steel gray room. Something felt wrong. She couldn't quite place her finger on what it was as her consciousness wasn't fully together yet. In fact, she felt empty. She could remember what she assumed would land her in some room that smelled like antiseptic like this one. She closed her eyes, keeping her breath steady.

Slowly, Naiya tried to collect everything she could remember. She recalled trying to kill herself, an unsuccessful endeavor apparently. What else? Her name, Naiya. Why was she trying to commit suicide? She came to a standstill with personal details, so she moved on. So who found her? Her brain felt scrambled. She could barely remember anything, just the jump and how she had felt at the time. Scared, Determined, Anguished. Every emotion swirled back to the surface just thinking about it. She wished she had succeeded, but a part of her was glad, thankful even for the clean slate she had been given with the failure.

Once she adjusted enough to the light, she moved her hand up to her face to look at the mark on it. She had to make sure what she thought was a memory was real. If the blotchy purple and black mark was still on her right hand, she'd believe she had been suicidal. Naiya stared at the mark on her skin. It had been real. Her head ached. Her whole body ached for that matter. Why was she alive? Clearly she had not desired resurrection, and it scared her. What was she trying to achieve through her death? It had seemed like a very important task. Like it would stop her suffering. For a moment, she feared that who she had been running from had her now. It was a dangerous thought, that sent her surging into an upright position, struggling and gasping for air. A panic attack. For some reason, she remembered these. Remembered what to do to bring herself down. Her shoulders shuddered with silent sobs, and she covered her face with her shaking hands. 

Naiya slowly brought herself back out. Her breathing calmed, and she looked around herself. Metal bolts stood out on the walls. A ship of some kind. The door was a strange one with a lever that she was unfamiliar with. The room was quiet except for the whirring of the machines, and it was extremely clean. She couldn’t hear anything outside of the room from what she could tell with all the ambient noise. The room looked like a state-of-the-art medical facility. It was a little bit impressive for something on a boat. 

The door opened loudly with the sound of metal on metal, revealing a large, white bear in an orange jumpsuit. The two of them stared at each other for a long moment of awkward silence before the bear spoke.

"You're awake!" a polar bear gasped in shock. She wondered if it was normal to see a talking bear, or if this was an unusual sight. She honestly couldn't figure out how to react to him. Maybe acting as if it wasn’t odd at all was the better route, so she did her best to maintain her placid expression.

"I think so," was all she managed to get out in a flat tone. The bear was already hurrying back out of the room however to really register her response. Naiya stared at the door for a little longer. Perhaps he had gone to get someone.

She busied herself trying to figure things out once more. Although she didn't come up with much before the door opened again, revealing the bear and someone new; a tall, intimidating individual from face and demeanor, but the fluffy hat in no way gave off the same vibe. Either way, he looked annoyed to be there, if not merely bored. If he was just bored, he had some serious resting bitch face, which she figured was probably the case. 

He picked up a clipboard and sat in a chair next to her. With his other hand, he placed a heart surrounded by a periwinkle box next to him, "We'll start with easy questions first. What's your name?" While Naiya was marginally intimidated by the heart that sat beating on the table, she also felt a little confused as to why he needed it within her line of sight. Surely it wasn’t hers? Was it? The thought was almost too much for her, so she set it aside, trying to focus on the question she’d been asked.

"Naiya," she responded, “I don’t remember my last name.” She was getting the sinking feeling that every other question was going to be impossible to answer. His gray eyes observed the heart as she answered. Naiya’s earlier fears went surging back to the forefront. 

"How old are you?" was his next question. His expression was as unreadable as before. Naiya had no guesses as to what he was thinking, or why saving her required such a line of questioning.

"I don't remember," she replied. His eyebrow twitched slightly, and Naiya assumed her response annoyed him. She got the feeling he wasn't someone you wanted to piss off. That was too bad for him though, because she was only going to continue to have nothing more to tell him.

"What do you remember then?" he asked with a sigh, leaning back into his chair. He seemed suspicious enough of her for him to have some sort of definitive proof of who she was, which meant they were enemies somehow. She wasn't sure how, but she'd have to figure it out. That, or he was just naturally suspicious. There was no way for her to know. She barely remembers a thing about herself after all. What good would it do to assume so much about the people who saved her life?

"Trying to die," Naiya sighed. She didn’t particularly want to elaborate on that thought. It had been difficult enough to pass through the highlights that she could remember when she was combing her own memory earlier. He seemed surprised by her response though, but the expression disappeared quickly. 

"Why?" he pressed.

"I wanted to," she said without looking at him. The heart on the table next to him continued to beat in tune to Naiya’s own, and she swallowed tightly, tearing her gaze away from it once again. She didn’t like this. A creeping sensation itched at her shoulders, and she just wanted this questioning to be over.

"And that's all you remember?" he asked. His hand moved to the heart beside him.

"Yes," Naiya responded in a soft voice. She wondered if she was allowed to know who he was now. She figured she ought to at least thank him for saving her. Even if she hadn't desired the help, "Who are you?" The question seemed to bring him to a pause, like he hadn't expected it. Naiya had sat through his line of questioning, the least he could do was tell her his name. She supposed he hadn't believed she was an amnesiac.

"Trafalgar Law," he answered slowly. Then resumed getting up from the chair, taking what Naiya could only presume was her heart. The thought terrified her.

"Thank you," Naiya said softly, "Law." She didn’t really know why she had said it, and Law didn't respond. He merely left. Thus, Naiya was left once more with her thoughts.

She stared at the ceiling. Her neck ached, and her head pounded. She didn't dare move another muscle for fear of inflicting more pain upon herself. Naiya's mouth was dry, and there was nothing to occupy her mind beyond what had just happened.

Trafalgar Law, the name sounded familiar, but at the same time, didn't ring any bells. He was strange too. He didn't show a lot of emotion, so she had no idea what he was thinking. There were too many potential answers. At least he had a nice voice. It was soothing almost, a stark contrast to how he presented himself. He wasn't unpleasant to look at either. Though his eyes were rather intimidating. Something about the look in them made her feel uncomfortable. Like she needed to run as far away as and as fast as she could.

Then there was the heart he kept looking at. It appeared to be hers. It was the only thing that made sense, but that seemed impossible though. Law was probably trying to make sure she wasn't lying. An insane sort of lie detector test. Still, if it was her heart, how could she still feel it beating? It wasn't adding up.

Naiya's head pounded. She hated staying still like that; she couldn't think. She pushed herself up into a sitting position, and her whole body groaned in protest. Her arms were covered in light purple bruises, the rest of her body was probably covered in bruises as well. Naiya reached up to touch her head where the pounding was stemming from and felt metal staples there. She wondered how long she had been asleep for. It seemed like something she wasn't going to get an answer to for a while at least.

When Naiya grew bored of sitting and observing her bland surroundings, she began pulling off the wires that were attached to her chest and arms. One of the screens next to her flatlined, which drove her to fiddle with it until she finally pulled its plug out of the wall. After she succeeded in freeing herself from all the wires and a needle that was in her arm, Naiya began to pace around the room, looking through drawers. It looked like there were mostly more medical supplies and a few uninteresting pieces of paper with illegible writing on them. The bed and the side table were both bolted down to the floor, but the chair was not. Instead it was strapped to the table to prevent it from rolling around when not in use. There was no way of knowing where she was, even if she did find a window to look out of, but at least she could assume she was on a ship of some kind.

Naiya looked around some more, hoping to find some of the clothes she had been wearing before she was brought here. She assumed what she was wearing presently wasn't her own. The coveralls’ sleeves went well past her hands, and she had to roll them up to keep them from driving her insane. Same thing with the legs that she had almost tripped over more than once while pacing around. 

The door opened suddenly to reveal a guy wearing a white jumpsuit and a hat that said "PENGUIN" on it. Naiya froze in place, staring, and he looked just as startled. Then he blushed, seeming to reboot with minimal issues. Naiya merely remained where she was.

"You shouldn't be moving around like that yet," he started, attempting to lead Naiya back toward the bed with the tray of food he was holding. She didn't protest, allowing herself to be herded back, although she did end up tripping and headbutting the edge of the bed, causing the poor guy to freak out as blood started to trickle down her forehead from her stitches. Naiya just sat herself down on the bed while the guy rushed around to stop her bleeding with some gauze and then running out to go get someone. Naiya merely waited for him to return while holding the gauze to her head.

He returned with Law, who Naiya caught calling him Penguin, which meant he was wearing a hat that declared his name on it. Helpful. Law looked irritated when he saw her, but Naiya felt like her injury wasn't serious enough for all the attention it was gaining. It barely hurt nor was she spewing blood.

"You've been awake for an hour. How have you already managed to hurt yourself?" Law grumbled irritably as he looked over the bump on her head.

"I have a talent," Naiya responded, causing Penguin to snort. Law shot him a glare, though there was a slight up-tick in his lips that Naiya caught. At least she'd managed to be amusing with her blunder. She stared at the floor while Law glued her head back together. When he was done, he left without a word. Naiya then looked to Penguin who was bringing the tray of food toward her now.

"Here you go. We don't have a cook, so the food kind of sucks. It was Shachi's turn to cook though, so blame him not me," Penguin smiled. His cheeks were tinted pink again, and Naiya smiled back slightly.

"Okay," she replied. Penguin left at that, and Naiya was left to stare at the plate of strange looking food. Something about it didn't look quite right. She was trying to decide whether or not it was a potato or a mushroom on the plate when the whole place shook. Naiya heard people running by her door and some shouting. Next she heard some sort of alarm going off, so she set the tray aside and went to the door. She pulled up on the lever to open it as she had seen Law and Penguin do and looked out. In the hall, everything was louder. The polar bear, seeing her, went to stop her from leaving the room.

"Ms. Naiya, stay in your room. We don't want you to get hurt," he said, gently directing her back inside the quiet room and closing the door. The ship shook again, knocking Naiya onto her butt. She was almost desperate to know what was going on, but she figured it was probably best to listen to the bear and stay put. Especially since she couldn’t trust her own feet to keep her upright in normal circumstances.

Naiya stayed in the room for a while before her curiosity got the better of her. She opened the door again, and although the alarm was still going off, there were less people running around than before. Most of them barely even looked at her when she passed by. She eventually found a porthole, but all it looked out to was the water. There wasn't any land to be seen. She caught a glimpse of another ship though from it. So they were being attacked, or were they attacking? Naiya continued wandering, and went up a deck when she found a ladder-well.

When she found the kitchen, Naiya was presented with the most disappointing thing she'd seen as of thus far. It was dirty, and whatever was being cooked didn't even resemble food. It was a stark contrast to the shining room she had woken up earlier in. For some unknown reason, she felt an overwhelming desire to clean everything up, and make something that looked marginally better than whatever had been left behind to burn.

Naiya began by throwing out the burning chicken(?) and soup, and cleaned everything with whatever she managed to find in there, which was a mop and a couple rags. The place wasn't as clean as she would've liked, but it was a start at least. Then she set herself to finding food, which wasn't too hard, except for when she thought she locked herself in the freezer for a few minutes before finally managing to get the door back open. She also couldn't find any seasonings, so she was going to have to make due with salt, pepper, and hot sauce.

When she finally started cooking, the alarms were still going off, and Naiya only caught two rags on fire, which she counted as a win since they were easy to put out. They were also all she had for oven mitts. She had found quite a few vegetables, though most weren't looking great, and she had to cut them down to make them edible. Soon enough Naiya had a soup that smelled way better than the previous one going, and she was working on cooking some chicken to add to the giant pot.

She didn't notice when the alarms turned off, but eventually people started wandering in looking starved and asking when she was going to be done cooking. She honestly had to agree with them as her own stomach was starting to rumble as everything was starting to come together into something that resembled food. She didn’t even know that she knew how to cook, so she was glad it was going well so far. Penguin looked shocked when he saw Naiya though.

"You shouldn't be here!" Penguin started, "Law will kill me if he catches you wandering around." He looked like he was going to try leading her away, but she didn't trust any of them to finish cooking. Naiya was not going to let her perfectly good food be ruined. She was determined to finish what she started. Mostly because there was no way she was eating some mystery meal that had been cooked up by whoever Shachi was again. Naiya couldn’t even put a bite into her mouth. She was scared she would end up bed ridden again if she did.

"No way, I have to finish this first," she glared at Penguin. His cheeks turned pink at that.

"I mean it smells great, but you're not allowed out of your room," Penguin responded nervously, his eyes darting in the direction of the door. He let out a small scream when he saw Law standing in the doorway, clearly wondering why everyone was gathered there. Naiya stiffened when she saw him as well.

"Well, he appeared sooner than expected, huh?" she whispered to Penguin.

"Yeah, I’m done for," Penguin hissed in a terrified voice. Naiya sighed, then straightened and smiled brightly at Law. She supposed she could try her best to keep Law from remembering that she was supposed to be under lock and key by Penguin.

"What are you doing out here?" Law asked barely looking at Penguin. Already off to a good start then, she figured. 

"I found out no one can cook around here, and well, I had to do something. I'm pretty hungry, and you can’t expect me to eat something that might make me sick all over again," she responded. Naiya felt like she was presenting a fairly reasonable argument.

"What do you mean?" Law asked, looking a little irritated. Naiya had to force the smile to stay on her face.

"Well... It smelled all kinds of horrible. I swear my stomach was trying to get away from it," she said cheerfully. Law now looked annoyed with her, which was the direction she was hoping to steer him in. Instead of having him be mad at Penguin, who had done nothing wrong... probably. Naiya had no way of knowing, to be honest, but she didn’t really care.

"Besides, with everything going on outside, the food in here was just burning anyway," Naiya started. With the way Law sighed at that, it was clearly not the first time the food had been burnt during a battle. She smiled slightly, "I figured I had to do something to thank you guys for saving me anyway." A couple of the guys that were there awed at that, looking at Naiya in adoration. Law still looked irritated, but he didn't end up stopping her. Instead, his eyes went to one of the rags Naiya was holding.

"Your rag is on fire," he pointed out. Naiya looked down at her hand and let out a small squeal before folding the rag in on itself to snuff out the fire. Law was smirking slightly when he left. Penguin let out the loudest sigh when Law left.

"Sounds like you're not screwed now," Naiya smiled. Penguin nodded with a smile on his face, looking relieved.

"How's the food coming?" Penguin asked.

"It's almost done."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally wrote this story in 2012, and started rewriting it in 2017. I am now almost finished with it, so here's the first chapter. The second one soon to follow.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _ I won't waste your time with my revelation _ _   
>  _ _ Hello my friend, I see you're back again _ _   
>  _ _ Hello mystery, don't bother to explain _ __   
>  _ How 'bout maybe, it's all been in my head _ _   
>  _ __ _Hey well I'm tired of this black and blue, black and blue_
> 
> \- Black & Blue by Miike Snow

The food Naiya made went over extremely well with most of the crew members. In fact, it had gained her the interest of the others, to the point where they'd actually talk to her. Penguin wanted her to join their pirate crew, even though he had no authority to invite her into it. Shachi gave her compliments almost all the time in the most adoring voice, that she tried not to find annoying. He seemed a little more than infatuated with her, and she wanted no part of it. Bepo talked to her more normally than the other two, although there were quite a few "sorry"s involved. Thus, she somehow found herself taking over the main duties as cook for the submarine.

Cooking for twenty people three times a day and preparing a fourth meal for those who work the night shift down in the engine rooms making sure the submarine kept going was a lot of work. Naiya was up early in the morning starting breakfast, and she stayed up late preparing everything for the following day. It was a lot of work that Naiya enjoyed. She liked seeing the crew smiling when they ate her food, and they always told her how good it was. It made her feel really happy. She was really a sucker for compliments, and it gave her something to do all day instead of just sitting around and becoming more depressed.

While Naiya was putting an egg and hash brown casserole in the oven for breakfast, she got a surprise visit from Law. She hadn't noticed him at first, since she was pretty absorbed by her work, and he was just standing in the hatch watching her work.

"Your pants are on fire," was how he announced his presence, unlike a normal person. Naiya quickly put it out with a nearby rag while Law laughed at her expense.

"Good morning," Naiya grumbled, making a face at him, "So what can I do for you, captain?" She smiled slightly as she said captain, giving it a slightly mocking tone to it. Law somehow still managed to look amused, even though she was pretty sure her saying it like that irritated him. She still hadn't agreed to officially join the Heart Pirates, after all, and he seemed pretty determined to get her to agree to.

"Do you remember anything?" he asked, folding his arms across his chest.

"Nothing you don't already know," Naiya responded with a smile. Law then revealed a bounty poster. He held it toward her with a blank expression, and she had to stop and stare at it for a solid minute. There was a drawing that appeared to be her, and said "Wanted, Dead or Alive, Marshall Naiya". The reward was ten million beri. Naiya's eyes widened, and she grabbed the poster to look at it more closely. She couldn't believe her eyes. She was a pirate? And ten million beri? That was a lot of money. She wondered what she had done to piss off the marines so much.

"How is it so high?" Naiya gasped, looking up at Law. He was studying her face carefully, probably trying to tell if she was lying again. Naiya, however, was genuinely shocked, but when she read the poster, it felt correct somehow. Even the last name she didn't remember having looked like it was hers. She still couldn't remember anything though, "Where did you find it?" She was frustrated. Just seeing the evidence of a life she couldn't remember was hard. She wanted to know who she was.

"I found it on the marine ship we attacked a few days ago," Law responded nonchalantly, "It doesn't trigger anything for you?" Naiya looked back down at the poster in her hands and shook her head. She wondered why he held onto it for a few days before giving it to her. Was he gathering more information about her to see if she might try to lie? Did he just forget he had it? Naiya didn't know if it was even polite to ask.

"No," she said softly in disappointment, "The last name is right though, I think." She rubbed her thumb over her last name, staring at it intensely. She wanted more than just her last name. The bounty didn't tell her anything; it was just some arbitrary number the navy had assigned to her name.

"Are you related to Blackbeard?" Law questioned. The name, Blackbeard, hit her like a ton of bricks. She knew that name, and she knew it well. Just hearing it made her feel several emotions: fear, love, anger, sadness and more. What did it all mean? Naiya didn't know. She wanted to. It was like there were answers right there at her fingertips, but she was unable to get just a little closer to grab onto them and hold them.

"Who..." she started nervously, "Who is that?" Law's expression was blank now. Naiya could feel her heart pounding. She wanted to know, but she also didn't want to know. She was almost tempted to tell him to forget about it and not tell her. Maybe she was pushing her brain too hard. It almost felt like this was all coming too fast.

"Marshall D. Teach," Law responded in a dry tone. Naiya's head hurt. She wanted to get away from Law, but really the name, more specifically. She didn't know why though; the response was instinctual.

"O-oh," Naiya whispered, rubbing at the mark on her hand, drawing Law's eyes to it. He hadn't asked her about it, presumably because she didn't know anything about it. Naiya figured he wanted to know about it as much as she did, if not more. She took a step back from Law, goosebumps raising across her skin. Why was she so scared? What about the name had triggered her fight or flight response? 

"Oh?" Law prodded her. He seemed interested in her reaction, but Naiya wasn’t in the proper state of mind to really answer him.

"I don't..." she swallowed, trying to shake off the sudden dose of anxiety she'd heard the name, "I just... got some sort of auto response to it. All I know is that I definitely do not have a good relationship with that person." She treated the name like taboo in hopes of not having to hear it again. Law didn't press her further about it, but Naiya got the feeling that he was somewhat disappointed by her response. Law left her with the wanted poster and more daunting questions about herself than before. Naiya kind of wished she had written a suicide note of some sorts that she could find and read. Maybe that would be more enlightening than just grasping at whatever random straws Law was retrieving through his own resources.

After finishing up breakfast and setting it out in the galley with the necessary utensils for everyone to serve themselves, Naiya hurried off to her room. She stuck the wanted poster in a drawer and began sifting through her clothes. Maybe she did leave some sort of clues about herself in them. She dug through the pockets, glanced over every little wrapper and other seemingly inconsequential item she seemed to have in there. Still nothing.

All Naiya was really able to figure out was she ate a lot of this one candy with a blue wrapper and a paper with the name "Chopper" on it. She had no idea what the paper meant, if it meant anything at all. Maybe it was someone she had wanted to speak to at some point but never got the chance. She put the slip in the drawer with her wanted poster along with a blue wrapper before tossing the rest of it in the trash. Naiya sat in the middle of the cold floor and heaved a heavy sigh. Her search for answers had come up short once again, and she was already feeling exhausted.

Naiya eventually wandered back out of her room to the galley to clean up what was left over from breakfast and start lunch. She felt like all the energy had been sapped out of her body. Her reaction earlier to that name had left her running on empty. She still wanted to learn as much as she could about her situation though.

Once she had gotten all of that taken care of, she went to hunt down Law while she had some time. She wandered down the hallways glancing at the numbers above the doors, hoping to find something that looked like it would lead to Law. She wasn't exactly successful however.

"Looking for someone?" a smooth voice asked from behind her. Naiya turned around so quickly to face Law she actually fell over. Law stared down at her with a raised eyebrow. She couldn't believe how clumsy she was. It was like she had two left feet. She smiled at him in response, at a loss for what to do with her face.

"Found him," she responded, standing back up slowly, brushing herself off, and tucking her black waves of hair back behind her ear, "Does the name 'Chopper' sound familiar to you?" She said the name like a question because she wasn't even sure if it was the name of someone.

"He's a Straw Hat Pirate," Law answered curtly. Naiya frowned slightly at his response. She wasn't sure what to do with that information. It didn't tell her much. Did she associate with the Straw Hats? Was she a part of their crew? Who even were they? There were too many questions and not enough answers. Why did she have one of their names written down?

"Oh," was all she was able to respond with. Law stared curiously. She wondered if he was trying to figure out what she was thinking, which really wasn't much. Naiya looked up to meet Law's eyes.

"I found a piece of paper in my coat pocket with that written on it. I don't know what it's in reference to... but since he's another pirate, I'm more confused than before," she started. Naiya figured explaining to him was warranted because he was technically her doctor, besides it wasn't like she had anyone else to share it with, "I thought he'd be a doctor because I had this before." Naiya lifted her hand with the strange mark.

"He is a doctor," Law replied.

"Maybe I've spoken to him before then?" Naiya wondered, perking up at the thought.

"It's possible... though not entirely likely," Law responded thoughtfully. Naiya furrowed her eyebrows.

"Why's that?" she asked.

"No one knows where the Straw Hats are. They disappeared," he told her cryptically. Naiya stared at him in confusion.

"What does that even mean?" she stared. Law saying that was like hitting a brick wall. She couldn't find out anything else, no one could. Not unless this "Chopper" wanted to reappear magically.

"Exactly what I said," Law answered in a flat tone. Naiya almost wanted to strangle him, but she probably wouldn't even be able to manage it. None of what he was saying about this "Chopper" was helpful in the slightest.

"Well, that doesn't help me at all," she pouted. Law didn't respond. He mostly seemed done with the conversation. Naiya figured that was fine. It wasn't like she had more to talk about. She wished her memories would come back, even though it seemed like such an impossible task.

"Thank you," she told Law before making her way back to the galley. Since he was helping, she figured it would do her well to at least be grateful.

* * *

Naiya woke up suddenly in the middle of the night with a start. At first, she didn't know what had awakened her. Just that she felt panicked. She had realized something, but it didn't exactly feel real. It didn't feel like it was connected to her in any way. Yet she knew it was. _Marshall D. Teach_ , he was her brother. Her older brother. She didn't know anything beyond that, no other memories or snap shots of what their relationship was like.

Just thinking about him filled her with tons of emotion. Too much. It was overwhelming, and Naiya felt like she might be drowning in it all. She covered her face with her hands and tried to breathe. There was too much missing. She just knew what she felt toward him. It was like love, but it wasn't. Like he had hurt her in a way that made everything bad. She didn't want to be around him anymore. It was dizzying, and it felt so unreal. Why would their relationship be like that? They were supposed to be siblings.

Carefully trying to breathe through her fingers, Naiya still couldn't calm down. She kept trying to breathe deeply, but it seemed like her breath would never catch up. She wanted to know what was going on. She had to know. Naiya wished she could remember something, anything that felt like it would explain why the thought of her brother made her feel sick.

She looked down at her hand at the mark. It had grown bigger than she remembered from her original memory on the ski lift. That had to mean something. She wished she knew what it did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey, here it is.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _ I am drunk and on a ladder _ _   
>  _ _ Not the smartest way to start my night _ __   
>  _ You said I'd conquer my vertigo _ _   
>  _ __ _That was a lie, that was a lie, that was a lie_
> 
> \- "You told the drunks I knew karate" by Zoey Van Goey

Naiya was wandering aimlessly through the ship. She didn't know when she started; she just started following the red pipe in the ceiling or going up or down a deck. She was merely moving, trying to keep her head clear and not become overwhelmed again. Tricking her brain into thinking it was getting away from her problems again, even though the thoughts continued to whisper in her heavy mind. With each step, it felt like they got a little quieter. A little calmer.

Tucking her hair behind her ears, Naiya suddenly wondered what time it was. She realized she was probably neglecting her duties as the cook. Naiya hurried back up a deck to the galley, feeling terribly guilty. She couldn't believe she had forgotten about it. Now everyone was probably hungry and wondering what happened to her. Stress eased its way back into her quickly, but with new reasons to hate herself. 

By the time she got there though, Naiya was greeted by a welcome surprise from the lone clock in the galley. She still had time to make something simple. A relief. Tying her hair back, Naiya set to work, trying to rid herself of the guilt she felt for getting caught up in her own mind. At least cooking always seemed to clear her mind. She could focus on the task, and everything else would just melt away.

It was a while before Naiya spoke to anyone, busy attempting to play catch up on her job. Apparently Bepo had come to try to cool off using one of the giant fans that were always running in there. The ovens made the room broiling anyway, so much so that she hadn't noticed it was hot all around the submarine. Bepo stood in front of the fan, trying to feel like he wasn't burning alive, and he didn't look much better either.

"Why's it so hot today?" Naiya asked, helping the bear mink roll up the sleeves to his coveralls. She figured Bepo would know, as the navigator. Naiya was slowly learning about everyone and what they did on the sub, and it was slow going but nice. Everyone was kind to her, partially - she assumed - because she was the reason their meals stopped coming with warning labels.

"We're stopping at a nearby island for supplies. Food and fuel mostly," Bepo responded, "I didn't expect it to be so warm though. Sorry." He looked a bit dejected about it, and Naiya shook her head. She felt more sorry for him than anything else. Bepo was clearly the one suffering the most from the heat.

"It's fine," she replied, wiping some sweat off of her forehead, "We need more food, that's for sure. I barely have enough to make it to dinner." Naiya went back to rolling some dough when Bepo's sleeves were adjusted. He looked happier being able to feel the wind on his forearms. After a little more time with the fan, Bepo seemed to look better. Naiya gave him a couple ice cubes to help keep him cool, but she doubted they'd last long enough to make a difference.

When Naiya turned the oven on to cook the dough encased hot dogs, the temperature of the kitchen became blistering. Naiya's hair was straightening and sticking to her skin with sweat. She was exhausted and ready to get out of the submarine. It was the first time the place felt claustrophobic to her. She wished she could breathe something other than recycled air, and maybe taste a little bit of wind on her skin.

Naiya wandered out of the galley with her little timer to press herself against the cooler metal tables of the mess decks, and found herself being lulled to sleep from exhaustion and the mild comfort she gained from the cool surface. It was a siren song to her exhausted and aching body. The heat was certainly not doing her any favors.

She awoke to the submarine feeling fresher, and the timer next to her ringing desperately. Naiya turned it off quickly and hurried into the galley to take the food out of the oven. Nothing was burnt, which was good. It also meant she hadn't been sleeping for nearly as long as she thought. She wrapped everything to be easy to grab and go back to work. Though she figured that mattered very little, since they were probably pulling into port soon, if they hadn't already.

Naiya made her way through the steel corridors of the  _ Polar Tang _ , her boots announcing her every step. She poked her head into Bepo's office, which was covered in maps that Bepo was working on or finished with. Most of the finished ones were rolled up and placed into cubby holes. At Bepo's desk there was a compass laid out on a map that he was presently working on. Naiya was a little surprised by how neat the room was sometimes. She was a little surprised that she didn't find Bepo in the office. She frowned slightly, trying to think of where to find him.

"Oh, Naiya," Bepo said from behind her. Naiya turned around in surprise. She must've been too lost in thought to notice him opening the hatch behind her.

"Hey," she smiled, "Did we pull in already?"

"Yes, the fresh air is nice," Bepo replied. Naiya sighed.

"I bet. You planning on doing anything today?" she asked him. She slid her hands into the pockets of her coveralls. She was finding them to actually be pretty comfortable once she'd gotten some that fit her a bit better.

"No, though I think the captain wants us to eat together at a bar for dinner. It's what we usually do," Bepo responded. Naiya grinned.

"Great! Could you help me get some things then?" Naiya requested, "I don't really have money... but I'll pay you back!"

"Sure," Bepo seemed more than willing to help her out apparently, which made Naiya pretty happy.

"Thank you so much!" she said, hugging the bear. Bepo smiled at her. Even though Naiya had to wear the steel toed boots, she could not be convinced to wear the beige coveralls that everyone else on the ship wore. Even if they were super easy and comfortable, she at least needed something else to wear sometimes. She only needed like three more outfits anyway to start. Plus, she wanted to get some spices and a few cooking books that she was sure no one picking up food stores would even think of.

While she and Bepo explored the bazaar and bought things, Naiya wrote down everything for her to calculate how much she would need to pay Bepo back. Then she was going to request to be paid for cooking for everyone, and hopefully that would eventually cover her debts. She would never be able to thank Bepo enough for this favor, was what occupied her mind the most. Bepo even helped carry most of it and was surprised when she looked at more than just clothing.

After finding three cooking books and most of the spices she could find, Naiya was beginning to feel pretty tired out, and she'd only gotten a tank top and shorts for herself. As she continued to lead Bepo about, something caught her eye. It was a beautiful, deep purple scarf. However it was much larger than most scarfs, and was intended to be used as a body wrap or skirt or anything else imaginable. Naiya stared at it with wide eyes, feeling the soft, comfortable fabric between her fingers, but when she looked at the price tag for it, all the wind was knocked out of her. She couldn't pay one thousand beri for a single scarf! Even if it was versatile and beautiful. She wanted to cry over the amazing thing. She could die happy if she owned it, for certain.

Naiya attempted to haggle with the merchant, but the old woman was unwilling to go below 900 beri, acting like that was a huge discount, and honestly, considering the craftsmanship it probably was. Bepo tried to convince her it was okay, and he could pay that amount for it, but Naiya wasn't having it. She didn't want to spend too much of Bepo's money, and she was already at roughly 500 beri in debt already. She was already starting to give up on thinking she could ever own it. Then a tattooed hand reached in between Naiya and the merchant.

"Here's 900 for it," came Law's voice. Naiya looked over at him with wide eyes. She didn't need it that desperately! It was too luxurious for anyway. Her mouth opened with protests, but none of them came out. She couldn't help it. She really wanted it. Her heart pounded in her chest as the merchant removed it from the display.

"Where did you come from?" she asked in shock. Bepo looked just as surprised. The merchant thanked Law profusely, wrapping and handing him the scarf in a blue bag. Naiya's eyes followed the exchange in confusion.

"Here's more than enough compensation for your work," Law said handing the bag to her. Naiya looked at him with her lips slightly open. She wasn't entirely sure what to say.

"Um, thank you," she swallowed, trying to regain her brain functionality, "Are you booting me off the submarine, or is this the first of many favors of compensation?" Law smiled slightly.

"Well, considering you're indebted to Bepo by..." he looked down at the pad in her hands quickly, "536 beri, I suppose I could keep you aboard for a little longer." Naiya let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you," she responded, placing a hand on her chest. It was hard enough trying to navigate life on the submarine with almost no memory. She couldn't even begin to imagine how much harder it would be if Law randomly dumped her on some island. Naiya definitely couldn't stop making herself useful.

"Aw, captain!" Bepo said cheerfully. Law looked at him, but didn't react to Bepo's cheers. Naiya smiled at Bepo, holding the blue bag tightly in her hands while following the two back to the submarine. The sun was sloping down in the sky on the desert island.

Once she put everything she'd bought away, Naiya was invited by Penguin and Shachi to come with them bar hopping, which was something she wasn't sure was a good idea but couldn't really find a reason to turn them down. So she went along anyway. Ikkaku and Clione ended up going along with them as well, and Naiya wore the scarf Law bought for earlier wrapped around her torso and tied back behind her neck along with her new shorts. She was glad to be out of the coveralls, more than she dared to mention.

At the first bar, a couple of the patrons there bought her drinks because she was friendly with them. They probably wanted to have sex with her, but it wasn't like she was going to turn down free drinks. She was already buzzed by the time they arrived at the second one. 

By the third, she was definitely drunk. Naiya kissed Ikkaku at least once, while showering the other girl in compliments. Ikkaku laughed the entire time. She was pretty sure Shachi got a nosebleed at that. Naiya was just a friendly, giddy drunk. She appreciated everyone on the submarine so much, it was impossible to hold any of it back while she was drunk like this. 

By the fourth bar, Naiya had kissed everyone, and Clione was trying to take her back to the submarine, along with everyone else, since he was apparently the only responsible drunk of the group. Naiya had protested some, but was easily herded along with the rest of them. She had had fun.

When the five of them stumbled back onto the sub it was some ungodly hour in the morning. Everyone but Naiya slept on the lower decks somewhere while Naiya had a room on the same deck as Law and Bepo. She was pretty out of it still when she wandered down the passageway to her room. She counted the doors as she passed them. She got to what she was pretty sure was her room fairly quickly. It wasn't like she checked.

Naiya opened the door, confident she had the right one. She was very surprised to be greeted with the sight of Law, asleep on a desk in the room. At first, she was confused. She couldn't figure out why Law was asleep in her room. Then it dawned on her. This wasn't her room. Either way, she couldn't leave Law sleeping like that.

"Hey, don't sleep there dummy," Naiya said, poking Law in the cheek with one of the pens off of his desk. He opened one eye to look at her irritably.

"What are you doing?" he asked. He looked pretty mad, but Naiya just felt amused. His expression had no effect on her at all in this state.

"Making sure you don' break your back,” Naiya slurred a little, but she figured he would be able to understand. Law sat up slowly, frowning at her.

"Sleeping at my desk won't break my back, drunkard," he replied. He looked a little amused then however, "Now go to your room." He attempted to wave her off, but that wouldn't work on her. She was determined.

"Noooo," Naiya protested, "I gotta make sure you go to sleep properly. I can't trust you to not sleep at the desk some more now." Law laughed at her then, likely in disbelief. 

"Just don't worry about it," he responded, rolling his eyes at her. Naiya puffed out her cheeks at that.

"I'm staying here until you go to bed. I'll even sleep with you if I have to," she responded. Law raised an eyebrow at that.

"I'd prefer a more willing partner," he told her, his eyes flicking over her. Naiya grinned in response. She moved toward him easily, leaning toward him.

"I'm very willing," she whispered, her face hovering almost a foot away from his. Law smirked slightly at that but didn't move any closer toward her.

"You're drunk, go to bed," he ordered, ignoring how close she was. Naiya didn't move at first, looking over his expression.

"As soon as you do too," she replied. Law sighed. She was grinning at him then, clearly amused by being annoying to him. He was still tired and not entirely willing to deal with a drunk Naiya right then. Law reached up to her to push her face away with a finger.

"Go," he told her again. Naiya shook her head.

"I told you the conditions," she said stubbornly, folding her arms beneath her breasts. Her hard nipples poked through the fabric of her blouse. Law couldn't help glancing at them. Naiya seemed pleased by him eyeing her up. She took it as a cue to place a kiss on his lips quickly. 

Law pushed her away almost as quickly, turning her around by the shoulders. He ended up leading her back to her room that way. She giggled the whole way, teasing Law about being embarrassed and that it was okay, her kisses didn't mean anything. It was all just fun and games.

Naiya fell asleep in her room almost instantaneously when he dropped her off. Law looked pretty annoyed when he left though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for swinging by to give this a read again. If you feel like leaving a lil comment, it would be mighty appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Oh, my mind, is all_  
>  _Washed away, all away_  
>  _We keep holding on_  
>  _To the everlasting waves_  
>  -"Waves" by Electric Guest

When Naiya woke up, her head was pounding, and her mouth was drier than the desert sand. She never wanted to go drinking again; her hangover was so bad. She couldn’t really remember much of what happened that night either. At least not after the second time she kissed Ikkaku in a giddy daze. Naiya had a feeling she kissed just about everyone she saw. Not being able to remember more things was rather aggravating for her. She should've paced herself more. It was hard to pay attention when she was having fun though.

She slowly lifted herself up out of bed, trying to avoid adding to her already splitting headache. At least she didn’t have to cook because they were still docked at the island. Naiya left to wander the island for a bit before they left in hopes that fresh air would ease her hangover. She was wrong. The sun made it worse, but she didn’t want to laze around the submarine all day. At least, being out and about might help her remember something from the night before. She was halfway to swearing off drinking completely if this was what she had to look forward to afterwards.

After a while, Naiya had forgotten about her headache, becoming absorbed in the bright colors of the bazaar and perusing through things she couldn’t be pressured into buying. Though the merchants still tried to sell her things. They had seen her yesterday buying things, but this time she didn't have any money to spend. Naiya looked at teapots, chess sets, and anything else the shops had to offer. Some of the merchants she spoke to gave her a little information on what pirates they’d seen as of late. One of them even told her that they had spoken to her before when she was with a large man who was missing teeth. When she asked him more about it, he told her that she was like a scared puppy, following the other person around.

What the merchant told her felt unfamiliar, but an image of it managed to come to mind. She could remember vaguely following Teach, her brother, around, knowing she wasn't supposed to wander or look at anything. She had been afraid of what might happen if she did. It felt weird to think about, considering how much freedom she had now. It must’ve been a while ago, and it didn't help that it felt like someone else’s memories. Naiya almost felt like she was seeing someone else's life story in them. 

Naiya went back to the submarine soon after that. They were probably going to leave soon, and she kept thinking back to that story the merchant told her. Something about it bothered her. There was something she was missing about that time. It had to do with how she felt then. Like something had happened. The wood creaked on the port as she walked down it toward the  _ Polar Tang _ . For a moment, she thought she saw Law on the top deck. Once she was close enough to be sure, he was gone. Naiya didn’t think much more about it, merely making her way back down to the galley.

* * *

The more Naiya thought about the memory, wondering about what had made her feel so broken and empty at that time, the more frustrated she became. Her brain wouldn’t give her anything more, and she was just constantly ramming up against this wall. Naiya stared at the wanted poster with her face on it. She looked so confident in it. It was weird. She most definitely didn’t feel anywhere near all that confident. Who was this person that looked like her?

While she was staring at the poster, it suddenly hit her. A tiny memory that was only moments long. Marshall’s laugh and some weird looking fruit that tasted like liquorice and made her feel sick. The  _ fukkatsu fukkatsu no mi _ . Naiya sat up quickly. She remembered something. She knew why that purple mark was on her hand. If it ever covered her whole body, she would die.

Naiya stared at her hand. She was a little scared now. What made it get better, was it using her abilities? Was it a timer? She couldn’t remember, but being able to know when your death was close was exactly a comfortable thought, even if she didn’t care so much about the dying part. Just the knowing.

Carefully, she rose to her feet and went to go find Law. He seemed to want to know what the mark meant, and she didn’t see any reason to wait to tell him. However, she couldn’t seem to find him. Eventually she gave up, wondering where the guy was hiding. He probably wasn’t actually hiding. Naiya probably just didn’t know where to look.

Naiya busied herself with cooking in the galley and figured she’d run into Law eventually. It wasn’t a big submarine. However, as more time went by, she became suspicious. Naiya enlisted Shachi’s help to find Law and still to no avail. Shachi seemed a little surprised when they had exhausted all his possible guesses.

Not ten minutes later, she accidentally ran into Law... literally. Naiya stared at the tall man in disbelief, “You know, you’re a hard man to track down.” Law looked over at her with a bored expression.

“If you wanted to find me, you should’ve looked for Bepo,” was all Law gave in way of a response. Naiya looked at him irritably.

“Well, since I’ve got you,” she started, trying to ignore how irritating Law could be, “I found out what this is.” She held her hand up toward him.

“What is it?” he asked, appearing interested.

“It’s part of my devil fruit ability. The revival fruit,” Naiya responded. Law seemed surprised.

“I thought that was a myth,” he said.

“Nope,” she smiled slightly, “Though I don’t know all the specifics yet. I don’t think I’ve used the ability very many times.” Law seemed extremely interested in this.

“Do you know where you got it from?” he asked. He seemed much more curious about Naiya than before.

“Blackbeard,” Naiya answered in a soft voice, suddenly accosted by a desire to change the topic. Law’s eyebrows raised, and it seemed like he realized something. Naiya almost wanted to ask what puzzle pieces he was connecting in his brain, but decided better of it. It felt a little weird to try and compare notes about herself.

“Do you know if this is linked to him?” he pressed suddenly. Naiya shied away from him a little, hiding her hand behind herself.

“I... I'm not sure,” she whispered. Naiya scurried away from him after that. Law didn't pursue. She doubted his interest had been satiated at all. Naiya just didn't want to talk about Blackbeard anymore. In fact, she kind of hated the idea of discovering anything more about her involvement with that man. It was bound to be nothing good to know about. Naiya knew she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. She felt like a rabbit caught out, and she didn’t want to be there anymore. Her heart was pounding, and her mind wanted to  _ run _ .

She had already remembered one thing about her time with him, and it already left herself feeling strange. She wasn't sure she wanted to explore any further down that avenue just yet. Maybe she wasn't emotionally prepared for the toll. After all, when she had known all the details, Naiya had decided it was a good idea to off herself. It might be better to never know. A real Pandora's Box.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, again. It's another chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _ Maybe paper is paper, maybe kids will be kids. _ __   
>  _ But Lord, I want to remember how to feel like I did. _ _   
>  _ __ _'Cause I bear little resemblance to the king I once was_
> 
> \- "East" by Sleeping At Last

Naiya stared up at the dark ceiling. She was tired, but she was unable to get her brain to slow down. She felt strange. Her mark had grown a couple of times, but it didn’t seem to grow continuously, so it probably had to do with ability use. Naiya stared at the spot. It was reaching toward her fingers now, and sometimes she would accidentally burn her skin there, but she wouldn’t feel a thing. It was crazy to her that she couldn't really feel anything there.

Frowning, Naiya turned her hand over, hiding the mark on her palm from sight. There was still so much she didn’t know. She wished she could hurry up and remember everything, or at least that it bothered her less, hoping that eventually it would because it didn't seem like she was going to have many things to trigger her memories while she was on the  _ Polar Tang _ . Maybe she should leave them. It was possible that it would be for the best... But what would she do? 

Naiya had to make a plan. Even considering planning to leave the submarine seemed like a daunting task to her. A part of her was convinced she wasn't ready to try something like that. Everyone on the  _ Polar Tang _ was so kind. They were like a family, fully ready to add her to their register, and something about it just made her heart swell. It was a hard choice. Naiya wanted to know who she was, but she didn't want to leave. The only thing holding her back from officially joining their crew was her own identity. She had a sinking feeling in her gut that remaining aboard could put them all in very serious danger, and Naiya didn't want to risk doing that.

She spent the next few days occupying her mind with what she was going to need for when she left, and how she was going to get around. It all seemed very simple, but she doubted it would be. It was unlikely she’d find transportation as reliable as the Heart Pirates. She had gotten lucky in that sense, that they were the ones who had found her dying in the snow a few weeks ago. Naiya wasn't sure when she had decided that she would try to live, but it was a strange feeling because now she was actually thankful that they saved her life.

More than anything else though, Naiya was scared. She was afraid that when she left, she would fall right back into Blackbeard's hands, and without all her memories, she would likely be vulnerable to whatever tactics he might use on her to manipulate her into following him again. Her heart raced when she thought about it. It would probably be so easy for him. She wanted nothing more than to feel like she was a part of something,  _ necessary _ , and loved. 

The thought made her want to cry. It was part of why she was falling in love with being on the  _ Polar Tang _ . She felt welcome and cared about. Naiya didn't want to lose that. She didn't want to lose all her friends just to find out why she was so scared and broken before. She was so close to being happy here. Naiya had to remind herself of why she decided to leave. She wanted to  _ protect _ them. Whatever baggage she was carrying, she needed to know about it so that when the gavel fell, she wouldn't lose everything she had grown to care about. Not again. That thought drew her to a pause.  _ Not again? _

Not  _ again? _ Naiya couldn't remember why she felt like it had happened before. Even as she traced her thoughts back, nothing more came to her. Even so, it was a terrifying thought. What had Blackbeard done to her? How could she trust anything anymore? She had to leave. It was no longer a debate.

Naiya made her way up the ladder-well to the galley, feeling determined. As soon as she had everything figured out, she would go her separate ways with the Heart Pirates. It felt good having some sort of plan instead of biding her time on someone else's kindness. Especially with everything that she now had weighing on her mind. There was so much to consider.

Naiya slid the pan in the oven with a sigh, looking over at the clock that was ticking away quietly. She couldn't believe how fast she was starting to get at cooking. For some recipes, she didn't even need to open a cookbook or use a single measuring cup. She just  _ knew _ . She was impressed by her memorization skills, and it felt good to know that she was good at something, at least. It was a little boost of confidence for her.

The next time Naiya spoke to Bepo, he told her that they'd be pulling into port in a few days. Grief hit her like a ton of bricks. Naiya wasn't emotionally prepared for this yet. She was disappointed that she didn't have anymore time to spare. Naiya planned on informing Law when they pulled into port and received payment for her services. She'd then pay Bepo back and head off. Her heart weighed heavy in her chest. She wished this was easier, and that she could simply smile and wave and be done with it.

First, she would get a job somewhere on the island to make some more money and then she'd try to catch a ride on a ship to somewhere else. Try jogging more memories of her past by exploring as many islands as she could, and hopefully she would find out plenty. It wasn't the best plan, but it was a start. Naiya figured she could play it a little by ear.

Then she might try to find the Heart Pirates again, if she determined it was safe, or settle down somewhere else and try to go into hiding. Maybe even change her name. She wasn't really sure what she would do when she got her memories back. Naiya was betting all her cards on it being very illuminating, and she would just know what she had to do, though a pessimistic voice in the back of her head told her it wouldn't be. She didn't want to believe that though.

Even so, Naiya didn't plan on letting that spoil her plans. 

* * *

The submarine pulled up to a quiet island that didn't look like it got a whole lot of visitors, which surprised Naiya when she looked out at it from a porthole. It seemed like a bright and lively place though. She made her way to Law’s office, hoping he hadn't already left. 

Naiya knocked on the door, before opening it, “Law?” She poked her head in, and he motioned for her to enter. There were stacks of papers on his desk, and it was a bit disorganized in his office. For some reason that didn't particularly surprise her. Naiya noticed that Law seemed to be pretty distracted and busy with something else, which would probably work in her advantage.

“Here you go,” he said holding out a small bag to her. Naiya took it curiously, then realized it was full of beri. She supposed her reasons for stopping in had been pretty transparent. It was a little bit embarrassing how easy it had been for him to read her intentions. She hadn't even needed to say anything.

“Th-thank you,” she said nervously, hoping he wouldn't notice the flush of her cheeks, even though he hadn't looked up at her once since she had entered the office. It seemed like more than she should be getting from him. She opened her mouth to ask why there was so much when he cut her off.

“You're thinking about leaving, aren't you?” Law asked with a raised eyebrow. Naiya had no clue how he had figured that out. She hadn't spoken a word of her plans with anyone. She had done her utmost to avoid showing that the notion was even on her mind. She hadn't wanted to worry anyone...

“How about...” Law started thoughtfully without waiting for her reply, “You try that out for a few weeks while considering joining my crew?” Naiya’s eyes widened at the proposition. She wasn't sure what to say to that. Certainly she had thought about joining the Heart Pirates more than once, but it was almost a pipe dream to her. She hadn't expected Law to ever even consider asking her to join them. For some reason, Naiya had gotten it in her head that Law was just letting her recover a bit before giving her the boot, even though she should of realized by now that he was kinder that he appeared. 

“Um, are there any conditions to that offer?” she asked carefully. Naiya at least knew not to immediately turn it down, mostly because who knew what the future held. Though she couldn't see the future that she returned. Not now that everything was feeling kind of hopeless. She was already starting to feel trapped in the web of memories she was slowly recovering. Naiya was afraid of the answers this venture inevitably held for her.

“I need a vivre card for you, so I can find you in... let's say, a month?” Law responded thoughtfully, his gray eyes flicking up to meet hers. Naiya nodded slowly. She wished she could refuse, but the insurance this offered was too good to turn down. 

“Okay,” she said finally, hating herself just a little bit for agreeing. 

* * *

Naiya watched the  _ Polar Tang  _ leave, holding tightly onto her half of the vivre card. She didn't know that she would feel this scared and helpless when they left her. She tucked the paper into her pocket with a nervous expression on her face. She supposed it was time to start working on her plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for coming by for another chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _ Always underwater _ _   
>  _ _ When the night comes down _ _   
>  _ _ I can't figure it out _ _   
>  _ __ _Back to going nowhere_
> 
> \- “Dear To Me” by Electric Guest

The quiet, rarely visited town gave Naiya plenty of opportunities to remember her past. It wasn't in full detail, but newspapers and the occasional words someone would say would spring something into the forefront of her mind for her to suddenly have to think about. Like when she and Blackbeard, well,  _ Teach _ , had been kids. It felt strange, knowing that they had started out with a fairly normal relationship. Everything she had remembered before this made her think that they had always been estranged and on bad terms, but that was now becoming apparent to be untrue.

Naiya couldn't remember her father, but she could remember her mother withering away with an illness unseen to her and Teach until she was already long gone. Her mother had done her utmost to keep supporting them beyond what her body was even capable of. Naiya could remember the weak smiles and the way her mother stroked her hair, promising that everything would be better when their Dad got back from the sea. He never did. Teach had become convinced that all adults did was lie and deceive after their mother died. He called her weak. He called Naiya weak too for believing in their mother’s words. 

Naiya got sick a lot when they were little, and they couldn't afford anything to help her get better. Most of her memories from after her mother passed were of her lying in bed, delirious and alone. As she just got worse and worse, Teach’s mood seemed to reflect her health. Her brother spent most of his time somewhere away from the house, and he seemed to get angrier and angrier with her until he finally just up and abandoned her. She wasn't of use to him anymore if she couldn't stand up, if she couldn’t stay well. Naiya remembered crying and begging him to not leave her and then crying all alone, just hoping he would come back for her. Just like how her mother used to hope their dad would come back home. 

Naiya had hated the smell of the old wood house rotting around her and the cold floor of the house. She hated the creaking of the wood beneath her small feet as she struggled to get up from the bed. She hated the taste of the stream’s water, the only place she could manage to get a drop to quench her thirst, just outside of the collapsing bungalow. Naiya had hated how her shoes gave her blisters every time she wore them. She had hated everything when she was alone and in pain. She had many, strange fever dreams she could hardly remember at all back then. Naiya wondered how she hadn't died in that tiny shack she and Teach had used for shelter as children. It should’ve taken her life long ago.

The events after that were still fuzzy, perhaps because of how sick she had been at the time, but she remembered being found by an old woman who nursed her back to health and laughed at her when she fell trying to clean the floorboards or on the lip in the doorway. Her legs were weak from how long she had been sick, was what Naiya had thought at first, but she had remained clumsy as time went by. She was just bad at noticing her surroundings, so her feet always ended up getting away from her. 

Naiya could remember the smell of the fresh baked bread she helped the grandma make and sell in the bakery. The old woman told her to call her grandma and mind the store while she sat in the corner and knit, rocking back and forth in an old, creaking rocking chair. The memory felt like home, and the smell of bread became different to her then, nostalgic. It must have been when she learned to cook too. Naiya could remember Grandma teaching her how to make all kinds of bread. She had enjoyed it too, pretending the dough was people that made her mad and pummeling it until she no longer felt upset. 

Naiya hadn't found a job in the town yet, and she was staying at the inn there until she could find something better. They had a small, friendly staff and about ten rooms in the place, so they weren't in need of anymore staff members unfortunately. Naiya wondered if she could even start renting a house with no incoming pay. She planned on staying in town at least for a little while and kept a careful watch over their wanted posters there. If her face were to ever show up on it, she would be in some real trouble. Naiya wasn't sure what she'd even be able to do about it, or if they would figure it out quickly. Her portrait wasn't exactly a spitting image of her, and she was going by the name of Nadiya at the inn. It probably still wasn't a good plan to stay for long. She could never guess when a poster of her might show up, or how long it might take for someone to recognize it as her.

She kept her vivre card stuck inside her clothes at all times just in case she was recognized and sold out to the marines. It was really her only hope if they did come for her. She knew that they would either drag her off to Impel Down or somewhere similar, and that wasn’t something she was exactly into having happened to her. It honestly weighed on her mind more than Blackbeard even, at times.

Naiya asked around about available living spaces and ended up being pointed to an abandoned house. It wasn't too run down, but the look of it made her chest feel tight. It reminded her of her childhood home. The wood even smelt the same. She almost wanted to keep wasting all of her money at the inn rather than staying there, but at that rate, she’d run out before she could even get a chance to leave the island, or worse, a job. 

When her grandma had passed away on Naiya’s home island, Naiya had been about sixteen, and the grief had devastated her. She ended up running away from the island in search of her brother, who had become a pirate. She didn't know why she had decided to run to him when he had already hurt her so much, but it had been one of the worst decisions of her life. Naiya wished she could take the decision back. She wished she would've stayed on the island and ran Grandma’s bakery and lived her life out peacefully there. She would’ve been better off. Naiya could almost see it when she closed her eyes. She was there, happily baking bread and chatting away with the other townsfolk. There was nothing wrong with wanting to go back to a simpler time, was there? She missed it more than anything else.

Naiya had been emotionally compromised, and Teach had taken advantage of that when they finally reunited. Her brother was certainly very charismatic, if nothing else. He would've been a good person, in another life. Instead, he had somehow gotten it in his head that he was somehow superior because of the “D" in his name. Naiya had no clue what it meant, but Teach was adamant that it meant that he was destined for great things. A part of her had wanted to believe in that, when she had been hanging onto his every word like it was the gospel she’d been waiting for her whole life. Naiya had been so gullible, and Teach had been well aware of it. 

He had treated her well when they first reunited, lulling her into a false sense of security. He celebrated her return to him, said it was a mistake to have left her alone on that island. They were children. It would have been impossible for him to take care of her no matter how hard he tried, and Naiya forgave him, ate the  _ fukkatsu fukkatsu no mi _ , and joined his crew. She did many small things for him as he slowly ramped it up and brought her closer and closer to knowing everything in his plans. Teach always kept everyone just at arm’s reach though, never completely trusting anyone, even his oldest of crewmen. Naiya had no idea what made her realise she was being used by him, but she had a feeling the memory would come to her eventually.

Naiya moved into the old house that smelt like bad memories and was in need of serious maintenance. In her free time, she asked a local shopkeeper on how to fix things, like the leaks in the roof and worked on repairing them whenever she got the time, and before long, the house no longer smelt like old wood and more like a home. The rest of the time, Naiya spent asking if anyone needed an extra hand, sometimes ending up working odd jobs like delivering goods from a bakery or waiting tables at the bar when they were busy, but somehow she hadn’t managed to find a permanent job until she spoke with Coda, the manager of the bar, who had apparently been on vacation to another part of the island for a few days. He was the usual bartender and waiter, but the cook and his assistant had been managing his workload while he was gone.

Coda was tall and surprisingly youthful looking for someone Naiya expected to own a bar like this one. He had sandy brown hair that looked like he never brushed and had a big grin. Naiya still barely believed he owned the bar. Coda was too attractive of a man to really be from this town in the middle of nowhere, though she’d never voice those thoughts aloud.

“So you’re the gal Fred says has been helping out while I was gone?” Coda asked, appraising her with his pale brown eyes. Naiya smiled slightly. Apparently they had mutual thoughts about one another’s physical appearance. It was a nice little confidence boost for her, but she certainly had no plans to go anywhere with the information. Coda was going to be her boss after all. It seemed messy, and she wasn’t all that interested in starting a relationship at the moment. She had more than enough on her plate already.

“Yes,” she responded, “I mostly just waited tables while Fred handled the bar though.” Coda wore a tight, blue shirt with two buttons at the top, both of which were unbuttoned, exposing some of the golden brown curls on his chest. He grinned when he noticed her looking, and stuck out his arm toward her. Two braided bracelets hung loosely off of his wrist.

“I’d be happy to have you continue,” he told her, a mischievous look in his eyes, “a pretty face is always a good addition to the atmosphere.” She couldn’t believe how transparent he was being with his flirting. Naiya took his outstretched hand. It was the only offer she’d gotten, and a consistent job was better than no job, even if the boss seemed to be pushing for more. 

“Thank you,” she replied, and so she began working the following day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading again. It's pretty cool of you.


End file.
